L for Love

Love is a very generic and commonly used simple word. In spite of being so common and simple, it's such a powerful word.

Is this a feeling from the brain?
Is it an emotion from the heart?

It is something which can be defined in many ways and yet it remains undefined. This is not restricted to any particular gender, age, living/non living, tangible/intangible. You can love anything in this world. You can love life.  You can love nature. You can love materialistic stuff. You can love something or somebody near you. You can also love something or someone who is miles away from you.

It need not be a mutual feeling, if you love something or someone there is no binding that it has to be reciprocated. Love is always unconditional. If it's not, then it's not LOVE 

H for Hiking

My first ever hiking experience, was when during my 9^th std holidays. We were to do hiking in the pristine Himachal. As kids, going on a 2 week trip was a very big deal. That was the first time I was travelling away from my family for such a long time. We trekked in the jungles and montains of himachal. We reached the tip of the snow point. It was the first time, I saw snow, the first time I touched it, the first time I felt how snow could numb you. The 1 week hiking taught me many things. Ofcourse as a school kid, I did not realize much. But as I think about it even now, I know, it’s been a great learning experience.

Well, after that for a few more years, I don’t think I did much of hiking. I started working and then, with G and his hiking friends, went hiking to KumaraParvata. This is one of the most difficult hikes I have ever done. Although we climbed from the Somwarpet side and got down from the Kukke side, climbing was a very big challenge for me. The peak is one of the most difficult ones in Karnataka. There was even a rock which was around 45 degrees, which we climbed, without any support to hold down. If not for G’s encouragement, I would have never completed the hike. Once we reached the peak I was ok. I don’t have much problems, getting down the hill, somehow I manage to get down, without much exhaustion. It’s mainly the going up part which is difficult for me. We had stayed overnight at a mantap there. The next morning, was one the most beautiful mornings of my life. All the exhaustion and pain which we endured the previous day was gone. Till date, I haven’t gone again to hike here, since I don’t know if I can do it once again.

We have been to quite a lot of smaller ones. Everytime, my worry is until we reach the peak, the moment I look up, my brain goes into denial mode. The moment I realize, its time to go down, my brain eases up, and I feel like a free bird.

2 years back, we went to Tadiandamol, the second highest peak in Karnataka. It was an amazing experience. We hiked in rain all the time. This hike had everything, plain land for a while (a nice breezy walk), a slight incline in the beginning, a thick forest in the middle, where the roots of the trees formed the steps, and then the final steep incline, where if you slip you go down few feet, with no support. The best part was the peak. It was so cold and windy that day, I realized what pins and needles actually meant. I could feel every little hair in my body being pulled from me. Infact it was so cold, I was already thinking of options on how G and my brothers were going to carry me all the way down, coz I felt like dying out of cold. The steep incline was the most difficult to get down, since it was all slush due to rain. Once we crossed that, I felt much better. All this was happening with rain as a background. It no longer felt wet anymore, we were drenched upto our bones, or so I would like to believe. Ofcourse the next day I had fever, and unbearable body pain. Was it worth it? Totally yes.

What do you bring back as souvenirs? Well, there might be scratches. There might be leech bites. There can also be scars. But what’s most important you bring back great memories. Every time I go on a hike, I have inhibitions, I have a feeling, I will not be able to complete it. There are times, when I curse myself for doing this to myself. But it also teaches you, patience, endurance, pushing your limits. Once you are back, you are in pain, you can probably feel every body part of yours screaming at you for waking them up. But that’s the beauty isn’t it? You are made aware of what your body can take. Hiking in all possible ways is a Life Coach.

G for God

God – a very common topic, I am sure. But the feelings for God. Is that common too?

I think my relationship with God, is a very private one. We might pray in front of others, might pretend not to believe in God, might pretend to have faith in God, depending on how our surroundings are. But what we really feel about God, is something we cannot express in front of others.

Are we scared of God? Or do we think of God as our friend? Do we believe, God will punish the evil? Is there an evil? Do the evil have their own God?

As children, we are always taught, be good, else God will punish you. May be God does punish you. But when is something we are not aware? I have seen people, who have not been very nice at one point of time, and felt, God are you going to punish them or not? Years later, I see them in a not so happy state. Is it their punishment? I don’t know. I probably don’t care anymore.

I know of people, who are scared of certain Gods, but are on friends with some Gods. And we also have our favorite Gods.

Well, I am not disclosing what kind of relation I have with God. Not totally. I sometimes feel its faith. There are days when I feel, God doesn’t exist, and maybe I am an atheist. There are other days when I have 100% faith in God. There have been days when I have had a conversation with God as if talking to a friend.

So what is God to me? I don’t know yet. I don’t plan on finding out either. May be God is my best friend. Maybe when I am really in need, God will do some God deed. We are also taught isn’t it. God helps them who help themselves.

B for Boating

Boating – I had this obsession as a kid to do pedal boating. I always wanted to do it. As part of holidays, we went to Ooty and in the lake, we decided to do boating. It was the first time I realized, how difficult it was to pedal the boat. To add to it, I was scared of water, so on one side I was thinking what if I fall in water, on the other it was so tiring to pedal, how was I supposed to enjoy the cool weather and look at the mist forming in the nearby mountain and all that. All that was running in my mind was, when will this get over?

I blame it on the hindi movies. They show boating as such a romantic thing to do, and we young teenage kids just fell for it.

Years later, when me and G had not yet started dating, had gone to a theme park, along with other friends, and we were in a pedal boat again. We were too near the edge of the lake and the boat got stuck with the roots, and we used all our energy in getting the boat to the centre and then back to the starting point. If at all G had any plans of proposing to me on the boat, it surely dint happen.

After that, everytime we went to a place which had this small pond, and was called a lake, and had boating, I would avoid it all together. I never understood, why people would stand in the long queues just to go thru that ordeal.

Last Christmas, we were in Kodaikanal, with friends and our friend’s kid wanted to do boating. Usually when we go with friends with kids, and they want to do boating, they go for that activity and we go do something else in the meanwhile. But this time, for some reason, we ended up going with them. And howmuch ever I tried to avoid, there was no option but to go. I put in one condition. I will not pedal. Everyone agreed, since they knew I hated pedaling. With that life jacket the 4 of us sat in the boat. After that all I remember was hoping that we don’t fall in water, and that we get out safe. After about 20 mins, G and friend were tired of pedaling, and the only person who seemed to be enjoying was the kid. But all the elders had it enough, me with the boat itself and G and friend with the pedaling. So we got off from the boat, and I was one happy person.

I enjoy going boating though, row boat, speed boat, motar boat, cruise ship, ferry. Its just that pedaling part which I don’t like, and I feel its very cramped, and I feel stuffed, even if I am not the person pedaling. I don’t hate pedaling even, since I love cycling. So I don’t know what is it that is the problem. I think it’s the combination which I hate.. Boat +Pedal - Boadel 

Appa Office Amma Home

“Amma… What’s the cow doing there”, 3 year old Anagha asked her mom.

“That’s not a cow baby. It’s a bull”was the mother’s reply. Seeing a confused expression, she simplified it for Anagha. “It’s the father cow” was the next reply.

“What is it doing here” She asked.

Mom said “It has come to the farm to do some work. Just like how Appa goes to office”

“Where is mummy Cow Amma?” was her next question.

“Mummy cow is with paapa cow. Just like how I and you are” was the reply.

I was shocked to listen to this explanation from a family member. I am not a hard core male hating feminist. I am not a person fighting for gender quality too, as I know there are certain things which only one of the genders can do. Ofcourse, in situations where both are equally responsible, I am all in for equality.

However what surprised me here was, the mother in this situation is a working woman, may not be in the grilling IT scenario, but yes working nevertheless

So is this what shocks me. Is this what the kid will be taught. Its father’s job to provide and mother’s job to look after home and kids. Also, in the same family, the father doesn’t take care of the kid single handedly. He cannot it seems. It just baffles me. So why on earth did you even want the kid. So it’s completely the mother’s responsibility to take care of all the needs of the kids, and the father is just the financial support.

Seriously, such behavior I can find them less shocking if seen in a set up where, people don’t have much awareness. I wouldn’t even bring education here. As the people involved here are very much educated. You can’t even talk about seeing the same in their families, hence continuing, as I know both the sides the fathers help the mothers in household chores and the kid upbringing, and yes both the sides the mothers were working too.

I definetly don’t pity the girl in this scenario, as I don’t think she is being treated in a bad way. If it’s happening, then it’s because she has let it happen. But yes, I feel pity for the kid, for the kind of example the parents are setting up for her. And regarding the guy, even though I am quite courteous, when they visit home and all that. I know, the respect I had for him ealier is not there anymore.

All said and done, I don’t know how they are at home. Whether he does any work at home to help his wife or not. And even if I happen to know, I wouldn’t be in a position to tell them anything, since we would like to follow the policy of no interference. We will not interfere in other people’s life and vice versa. Nobody is allowed to interfere in our life.

Parents are the guiding points for kids. Not just what you preach. What matters is what you practice. So teach them the values in a way, they can follow. They will decide later in life whether they are right or wrong.

Rice Payasam

Rice Kheer or the Rice Payasam – I hate it, there I said it. I really really hate it.

Payasam or kheer, is as such my least favorite sweet dish. I prefer the barfis, the gulab jamuns, the rasgullas, basically something which can linger in my mouth for a few seconds, and I can squeeze out all the taste in my mouth, before I gulp it in. With Payasam or kheer its just sweetened milk, with something additional in it, either rice or dal or semia or sabudana or rava or even broken wheat. So the moment it goes in your mouth, its gone thru the food pipe. What the fun in that?

I remember, it was always a torture during festivals, when I had refuse these payasams. Mom would give some reason for me drink, and when you visit relatives, they would tell you hundred other things on why you should have this tasty drink. One of my aunt’s even used this wonderful trick. “If you don’t drink this, then it means you don’t love your mother” (Bah!!!!) as if I would listen to that.. I would just tell everyone, I don’t care if you think I don’t love mom, but I do, and I don’t have to prove it by drinking this. Slowly people stopped forcing me to drink it.

Even today, I do make the payasam or kheer on festivals, but I hardly taste a spoonful, just for the sake of it. I don’t mind sevai Kheer to some extent, if its thick enough, like made from milk maid, or if its in the rabri consistency, and I alos don’t mind chilled channa daal kheer, again that’s coz it tastes like icecream to me. I cannot tolerate the khus khus payasam and most of all, I don’t like the famous “Rice payasam”. And I am totally aghast or give a weird experession, when somebody declares. I love Rice Kheer!!!!

Last name or lasting name

I was in Std 10, and it was time to submit our details to the board. This was also the time where if there was any change in the name, we could do it, since that would be the name which would appear in the mark sheets, and these mark sheets were going to be an important document in our future. My name was absolutely fine, it was my last name which I wanted to get changed. It had so happened that in one of the previous schools, when they were to give my transfer certificate (TC), they cut short my last name to an initial. It stayed that way and we never bothered to change it. I was also ok with it, and dint bother much until this time.

So my name instead of abc.N.xyz was shortened to abc.N

I filled the form where I said my name was to be changed to abc.N.xyz. What senior faculty in my school told me at that time baffled me. He said, why bother to change your name, anyway after marriage you will change your last name.

I don’t know what was in my mind at that time I replied to him “Sir, I might not really change it at that point”. He laughed it off and went his way.

I dint really submit that form at that point, as I was a little disturbed with this conversation.

Anyway years later, when we were about to get married, I discussed this point with G and told him that I will not change my last name, and I am glad he was ok with it. Infact, he said it was my name, and what I wanted to do with my last name, was his wish. I was dreading, if he hadn’t agreed, I would have to fight with him for the same. I even joked to him once saying, if he was ready to take my name as his last name, then I would take his name as my last name too. I don’t remember what was the response. I think we both must have thought “Yeah!! Right!!!”

There have been many people who have questioned me on why I still haven’t changed my last name. And my response is always “Why should I?”. And this is something which my husband and me have to discuss about or choose not to bother about. So who are you to ask me?

I don’t remember very well, why I thought of putting this incident on my blog, but this incident has always nagged me. As teachers, we expect them to give us certain values. This might have been a small incident in my life, but what if the same person had told me, why are you studying, all you are going to do is get married and stay at home serving your husband. How would that have affected my life? Would I have questioned my “Sir”? or would I have kept quiet?

Thanks to my parents and my in-laws for not asking me to change my last name. Its not that I would have changed it. But, yes it surely saved some melodrama in the house J

 

Hum saath saath hain

Few days back, I was reading an article, where an old rickshaw puller stays in Calcutta, and his wife and kids stay in a small place in UP. He has been doing this for many years. He only visits his family thrice a year, on festivals. I was just left wondering, what kind of life was it, and here I am not talking about rich and poor, poverty or above poverty. How much earned. He was away from his family - His only wife and children.

I have no idea, about, why he left his wife in his village while he came over to a far off place to earn. Yes, initially may be he wanted to settle down, but she has been there all thru her life, waiting for the husband 3 times a year,  and taking care of their children. I am not sure if other family members were involved. Their kids are now pretty much grown up, the eldest working in a factory and contributing to the family, the youngest still doing his degree and a daughter who is probably married. But this man and his wife are still apart.

Its not like I have not seen couples being apart in different places for better income, but I never realized this situation as the couples. There were always kids involved, the dad worked in some place, the mother took care of the kids holding the fort in a place called home. What about her desires to be with her husband? I never thought about it when I was kid.

But after meeting G, I cannot imagine staying away from him. We laugh, smile, roam around, fight, tear apart each other’s hair, sometimes behave like we can’t stand each other, but we are together. In these many years of being married, there were in different places for a few months.. The first time, it was when we were recently married. We would take breaks and stay with each other for a week or weekend, and then second time was a couple of years back, when G was in a different country and I was in India. These months felt like a thousand daggers to my heart.

 

Wen I think about all those couples who stay apart, not because they can’t live with each other, but because they can’t afford to live with each other, my heart goes out to them. At such times, I thank my lucky stars, and decide to never ever fight with G or even argue with him.

 

 Yeah right!! Like that’s gonna happen. Neither me or him can stay with each other with such formality. We need all the feeling in little doses. Kabhi khushi kabhi gham.. We need it all, but together (hum saath saath hain).

 

Me and my writings

I was probably in 3^rd or 4^th Standard, when I had done some blunder for which I was punished. I was very sorry about it and wanted to apologize to my mother about it. I couldn’t bring myself to go in front of her and apologize. I did the next best thing which came to my mind. I took a piece of paper and wrote. “I am sorry mummy. I will not do this again”. Of course, I took much more than that for me to pacify mom. But this slowly became a norm. I used to write, and finally would make it up. Ofcourse, I used this technique for good things too.

Slowly, I started to make greeting cards. So, for every birthday of my parents, my brother, I used to make a card, and write. My parents still have the cards I have made for them on these occasions. Somehow, this has stopped in the recent years.

When the time came, to tell about G, I couldn’t muster up the courage to go in front of them and talk about it. (even the song Pyar kiya to darna kya – kept playing in my head… there was no chance that I would go and tell this on their face). So I did, what I did the best. I wrote a letter… err correction, a very long letter. I think it went upto 3 pages. To my embarrassment, mom still has the letter.

There are many reasons I like to write or type. Some of which I have thought of are:

·        Sometimes I write, just because I like my handwriting, and it looks beautiful on paper (this doesn’t happen all the time. Only at times).
·        When I am on the system, I keep typing because I have selected a beautiful font.
·        At times I write, because I like the way, the pen is making an impression on the paper.
·        I keep typing, because I like the sound when I press the keys on the keyboard.
·        Sometimes, it’s also because I like looking at my fingers typing away. (now I am starting to sound creepy)
·        Oh yes… one main point.. I have some thoughts bursting to come out of my system

But all this when I want to write. If somebody comes upto me and asks me to write or make a ppt, I can’t type a word. Even though I could write paragraphs, I wasn’t very great with essay writing in school, especially if somebody gave me a topic to write. Even if someone comes upto me and says, I will give you a month to write about something, I might not be in a position to write a word until the deadline is over.

But leave me in front of an ocean or in a jungle, or like now, in a room where the window is open and the cool breeze keeps my curtains waving, I can write, and write and write, like how I am going on, now - aimless, content less. I wish my love to write, never diminishes… If not for the content, I would like to keep this for various other reasons.

Ok… I no longer want to see my fingers type… So here I stop…Until next time.

Race Race!!!

“Is he getting it married?” My mother-in-law asked me.“He is already married to it amma”, I told her smiling.. She just headed towards the kitchen, nodding her head. This conversation, was right after my husband gave her a test ride, after the modifications on our car.
Modifiactions done to Fiat Palio
- Engine Grooving. Its like an open heart surgery, is what he told me. Free flow blah blah blah….
- Free flow exhaust, air filter change, silencer changed

Result: When he starts the car, it sounds like a race car… When he zooms past other cars, the sound is deafening… He doesn’t have to honk on roads, people just give way. All eyes are on the car. Car lovers kinda smile at it.

I am just loving it, for 2 reasons.
- I have always loved Ferrari in F1, and now I atleast get to feel a teeny weeny bit of it, considering my husband drives as if he is on F1 race.
- I can keep saying “Show Off” to him.

Why Show Off you ask?
Any time he is in stand still, he starts, he loves it when people turn around and look at itAs soon as we enter Infy, he has to accelerate such that the security guards notice… Ofcourse they smileSee a bunch of guys and accelerate and heads turn

Best was today morning, our neighbor was cleaning his car, when we were leaving… My husband started the car and let is on for warming up(he says so). So the neighbor asked… What’s with the silencer?. So my husband told him, and he said – Are you going to participate in a race?My husband said – No just the thrill… He just smiled and said –Enjoy :)
As soon as we left from there, I told my husband “Show Off”… You dint even try to impress me so much ….

Bus rides!!!

Bus rides in the morning can be pretty interesting. And here I am not even talking about the people in the bus. That will make up a pretty long tale. As soon as I get a window seat, I feel the satisfaction same as quenching my thirst. I just open the window wide open to see off the place, where I stood, just before the bus came. As we move in snail’s pace in the (in)famous Bangalore Traffic, we see people running to catch their buses, which for some reason they might have missed, or people who are waiting for their mode of transport to arrive. Sometimes we see people strategically crossing the jam packed roads… The best time to cross roads when there are so many vehicles on road… is when there is a stand still traffic jam.
 
As we move slowly and steadily, the weather also tries to play along. The sky is covered with dark clouds, making us think about the time of the day. Out of nowhere there are droplets of water kissing your face. Instead of wiping it off, or closing the windows, you just push your face a little outside and feel the water on your face. As you go further, and the rain has increased its momentum and you can see a series of water drops falling everywhere. You see colourful umbrellas opening up. Those people who had not anticipated the rain, rush towards any shade available.
 
In the meanwhile, the windows are closed a little, letting in a little bit of air in, considering a fellow passenger’s request since they like stuffy and suffocating environment in the bus. When the expressway stretch was over and you can just look at the roads below from a bird’s view, it seemed so fresh. The road was wet. People were still running towards the bus with umbrellas hitting each other. Autos standing the stand, with all the drivers having a team meeting, with a cup to hot tea. The best thing in this whole journey was listening to soft romantic songs.
 
When I realized what a beautiful day it was, the song playing was “Hume aur jeene ki chahat na hoti.. agar tum na hote”… Bah!!! Just the song when I was coming to office without my husband today :) But these are time times which make me realize, small moments just make a good start for the day ahead…

Incentive or Bribe

Heard this line in one of the songs in 3 Idiots – “Rishvat dena to khudd Papa ne sikhaya”… It’s not to demean the parents. Ofcourse what we are today, is because of them, the push, the confidence they have given us… But it’s not entirely false, that we have seen this from our childhood.. Parents.. teachers… everybody….

Recently, I was in conversation with a person(X) I know. We were discussing jewellery. When she said, you must have gone to XXXXX jewellery store, they have got good collection. I said, yeah next time, I will go there and look out.

Just then she said, “we had to get a gift in gold, for the inspector who had come to our college”. I quite dint understand, at first I thought, they had some function and it was a memento, only later I understood, there was an inspection and this “GIFT” was the bribe.

There was another incident, when the college was supposed to have some event, and some permissions from the POLICE had to be taken. So the students told X, “Don’t worry ma’m, We will do some ADJUSTMENT with the police”.. Needless to say, the event was successful.

Now, as a teacher (GURU), isn’t one supposed to imbibe certain qualities in the student. If the Student is going the wrong way, should the teacher encourage the student. In the above mentioned incidents, may be if they hadn’t taken the steps they did, it wouldn’t have happened.

But is this what we are passing on to the next generation…

Not just teachers, parents too are responsible for this.

Lakhs and lakhs of rupees spent on “DONATIONS”
“Dad, I want my DL” – Ok, Lets bribe the RTO.

Why blame government and private agencies…

Its all root level..

“Eat the food baby… I’ll let you watch TV… I’ll give you a chocolate..” What is incentive in the beginning, becomes Bribe in the Long Run…