Last night, on radio, the RJ was discussing about Confusion in Love (nowadays). How Love has lost its meaning in the modern times? How people don’t care for each other? How Love is shallow these days? Worst of all – comparing what our parents had what our grandparents had, and how we don’t have it.
Girls nowadays think, would the guy be able to provide here basic needs? Will I get so much property if I marry this guy? Seriously, do girls think like this, when they want to get married. Maybe the parents think about it, to make sure the girl has a tension free life, but that’s not the basis for love. Or is it?
I overheard this or read this somewhere, only if you give a girl a diamond necklace, will she love you. How shallow a thought is that? That definelty cannot be true love. May be a passing cloud, but not your soul mate. I am sure, that guy hasn’t fallen in love.
I am not going to talk about the whole generation here. But, why can’t we think in a positive way.
For one, the situation in which our parents and grandparents were is totally different from what we are currently. During the time of our grandparents, they were married off at a young age, even before they could understand what love is all about. In most of the times, the girl was financially dependent on her husband. So at that time, did the girl not think – will my husband provide for my basic needs?
Let’s say, the husband treated her badly or she did not like her husband (for whatever reasons), what could she do? She couldn’t go back to her parent’s house, for various reasons. They had many other sons and daughters to be married off, hence couldn’t take care of her. They couldn’t fathom the idea that the guy can be wrong in any way. Or for a simple reason like – What would the society say?
I have heard stories from our grandmothers on how, ladies stuck to their husbands, not because of love, but because of these reasons too.
Nowadays, most of us don’t have these reasons; our parents want us to be happy. They are ready to hear us out, if there is something wrong in the marital relationship. Girls are financially independent; hence don’t need the husband to take care of financial needs. And if we are not happy, we probably give a damn to what the society thinks of us.
So then, why are we still with our spouses? Is it not love? It’s not for the financial need, it’s the emotional need, that we stick to each other. It’s because, we want to be with each other, live thru all the obstacles, joy and sorrow in life.
The other day, a relative said, “Oh you guys travel so much. When we were of your age, I wouldn’t dare to ask my husband to take me out even for an evening outing”. So does it mean we are bossy? No. It’s just that we have better rapport with our spouse, and we are in a better position to discuss, what both of us want in life. We are not scared of each other.
Once in a while at home, we have these discussions, where past is compared to present. I was glad, when recently in such a discussion at home, G’s grandma told him, “she doesn’t have the need to stay with you, and she is here, coz she wants to be with you. In our generation, ladies didn’t have an option; they stayed with the guy they married. Now if girls stay, it’s actually for the love and the emotional connect”. She went on to tell us, various stories of ladies of her generation, who stayed on, definitely not because of love, but due to family pressures.
You can never expect one generation to be like the other. Our previous generations think, we are spoilt, aren’t we doing the same thing? When we see kids with gadgets, or behaving rudely, we sigh – Kids, these days!!!
“When we were kids, we did this, we did that”, give them time, give them good moral values, you will see that turn out to be good too in long run. Were we never indifferent with our parents? Were we never rude to other people? Even if we never showed it, did we not nurture some hatred towards somebody? The kids nowadays are probably more open, which gives the parents more exposure to set things right sooner in life.
Guys in the previous generations, did not want to move an inch at home. It was considered the wife’s duty. Nowadays, guys help. They whine and complain, but when they see their better halves struggle, they do their bit. Its not just the spouse, some guys help moms out too. I know of some people who do help their moms, so don’t think its just for girlfriends or wives. Guys and girls are changing. For better or for worse, it depends on the situation.
I am not saying, there are no negatives in this generation. Ofcourse, there are money minded girls, there are guys who are opportunists, there are people who want to have a girl-friend or boy friend just to show off in front of others.
But trust me, when they come across a person, whom they really love, nothing else matters. And that’s when you have found true love. This doenst in anyway guarantee, you will not fight with the person, but yes, you will always be together.
Everybody has their own definition of this word – “Love”. It can only be felt, when you actually are in the feeling. This love is for any relation. You know you love a person, when you feel it. Nobody has to tell you, you don’t need to prove it to anybody.
Phew!!! Long post… and I am done venting out I suppose