Thursday, September 10, 2015

Mom or Friend

One day, while I was still in school, I had a small fight with my then best friend. I was upset, but dint want to share it with anyone. Once I was back from school, I went to my room and cried, and slept on the bed.

My mom came to see what happened to me, and she saw a note in my hand. It was folded, and she could see dried tears on my cheeks. She realized there was something troubling me. She opened the note and in my handwriting were these words “I don’t have any best friend. I am all alone”

She did not wake me up, she let me get my sleep, since I was emotionally exhausted. When I woke up, she was there. She did not ask me why I had cried, or what my best friend had done. Instead she showed the note to me and said. “Never feel alone in life. I am there for you. If you have no other best friend. Always remember, I am your friend. I can be your best friend. If you want me to be.”

I probably hugged my mother and smiled. Somehow I felt I will never be alone in my life, now that I have a best friend in her.

Ofcourse, I grew up and probably don’t share every little detail with her. Sometimes she behaves like my mother and not my friend. But we are in a stage where we can start off where we left kind of best friends. We fight, sometimes don’t speak for days, and when we start speaking, it’s as if we never fought.

Sometimes I accuse mom, that she has completely turned into my mother and no longer my friend. But in a few days, we go back to being best friends. So as a mother or as a friend, I know she will be there for me always.. I can only try J

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

Last name or lasting name

I was in Std 10, and it was time to submit our details to the board. This was also the time where if there was any change in the name, we could do it, since that would be the name which would appear in the mark sheets, and these mark sheets were going to be an important document in our future. My name was absolutely fine, it was my last name which I wanted to get changed. It had so happened that in one of the previous schools, when they were to give my transfer certificate (TC), they cut short my last name to an initial. It stayed that way and we never bothered to change it. I was also ok with it, and dint bother much until this time.

So my name instead of was shortened to abc.N

I filled the form where I said my name was to be changed to What senior faculty in my school told me at that time baffled me. He said, why bother to change your name, anyway after marriage you will change your last name.

I don’t know what was in my mind at that time I replied to him “Sir, I might not really change it at that point”. He laughed it off and went his way.

I dint really submit that form at that point, as I was a little disturbed with this conversation.

Anyway years later, when we were about to get married, I discussed this point with G and told him that I will not change my last name, and I am glad he was ok with it. Infact, he said it was my name, and what I wanted to do with my last name, was his wish. I was dreading, if he hadn’t agreed, I would have to fight with him for the same. I even joked to him once saying, if he was ready to take my name as his last name, then I would take his name as my last name too. I don’t remember what was the response. I think we both must have thought “Yeah!! Right!!!”

There have been many people who have questioned me on why I still haven’t changed my last name. And my response is always “Why should I?”. And this is something which my husband and me have to discuss about or choose not to bother about. So who are you to ask me?

I don’t remember very well, why I thought of putting this incident on my blog, but this incident has always nagged me. As teachers, we expect them to give us certain values. This might have been a small incident in my life, but what if the same person had told me, why are you studying, all you are going to do is get married and stay at home serving your husband. How would that have affected my life? Would I have questioned my “Sir”? or would I have kept quiet?

Thanks to my parents and my in-laws for not asking me to change my last name. Its not that I would have changed it. But, yes it surely saved some melodrama in the house J