Appa Office Amma Home

“Amma… What’s the cow doing there”, 3 year old Anagha asked her mom.

“That’s not a cow baby. It’s a bull”was the mother’s reply. Seeing a confused expression, she simplified it for Anagha. “It’s the father cow” was the next reply.

“What is it doing here” She asked.

Mom said “It has come to the farm to do some work. Just like how Appa goes to office”

“Where is mummy Cow Amma?” was her next question.

“Mummy cow is with paapa cow. Just like how I and you are” was the reply.

I was shocked to listen to this explanation from a family member. I am not a hard core male hating feminist. I am not a person fighting for gender quality too, as I know there are certain things which only one of the genders can do. Ofcourse, in situations where both are equally responsible, I am all in for equality.

However what surprised me here was, the mother in this situation is a working woman, may not be in the grilling IT scenario, but yes working nevertheless

So is this what shocks me. Is this what the kid will be taught. Its father’s job to provide and mother’s job to look after home and kids. Also, in the same family, the father doesn’t take care of the kid single handedly. He cannot it seems. It just baffles me. So why on earth did you even want the kid. So it’s completely the mother’s responsibility to take care of all the needs of the kids, and the father is just the financial support.

Seriously, such behavior I can find them less shocking if seen in a set up where, people don’t have much awareness. I wouldn’t even bring education here. As the people involved here are very much educated. You can’t even talk about seeing the same in their families, hence continuing, as I know both the sides the fathers help the mothers in household chores and the kid upbringing, and yes both the sides the mothers were working too.

I definetly don’t pity the girl in this scenario, as I don’t think she is being treated in a bad way. If it’s happening, then it’s because she has let it happen. But yes, I feel pity for the kid, for the kind of example the parents are setting up for her. And regarding the guy, even though I am quite courteous, when they visit home and all that. I know, the respect I had for him ealier is not there anymore.

All said and done, I don’t know how they are at home. Whether he does any work at home to help his wife or not. And even if I happen to know, I wouldn’t be in a position to tell them anything, since we would like to follow the policy of no interference. We will not interfere in other people’s life and vice versa. Nobody is allowed to interfere in our life.

Parents are the guiding points for kids. Not just what you preach. What matters is what you practice. So teach them the values in a way, they can follow. They will decide later in life whether they are right or wrong.

Kai-tuthu

Summer holidays meant spending 2 weeks with Paati, mamas, younger cousins. And in those times lunch and dinner times would be awesome, coz all of us(cousins) would sit in a semicircle, with our Paati in the center. She would have a huge bowl of sambar rice, and would make almost perfect balls and place it in our hands. We would, cup our palms and ensure that as soon as Paati places the mixture, we pop it into our mouth. After the sambar rice, we would continue with curd rice and end up eating more than how much we would have eaten, if we were just given food in our plate. That was our favorite Kai-tuthu. She would ensure that all of us have had our full and only then go to eat her lunch.

Couple of days before my wedding, we had mehendi ceremony at home, and most of my cousins were to stay in our house that night. We again had the Kai-tuthu. Ofcourse, my hands were not free, and I was directly fed by my Paati. But all my cousins who were no longer kids, enjoyed this process. Even after my wedding, we have had this kai-tuthu a few times.

It’s been a long time, since we have had this. Next time I meet Paati, I might again request for Kai-tuthu from her. She would more than happy to do this. I am sure about that!!!

They say parents love their kids unconditionally. I think grandparents also love their grand kids unconditionally. Probably a little more than their own kids.. Like they say interest is more interesting than the principle J

Bike ride

“I want to take you on a bike ride” G would always say.

I was nervous. I was scared. It’s not that I had not gone on bike rides. It’s not that I had not gone on bike rides with my friends. It was not even that I had not gone on a bike ride with G. But when I had earlier gone with him, he was just a friend.

But now, things had changed. We were together. And he wasn’t talking about just a ride inside the city. It was supposed to be a ride from Mysore – Bangalore. I could never say yes to that. One day with some courage, I agreed to go to Srirangapatnam. (which is hardly 15 mins from Mysore). But I did go.

After our Wedding, I have been to many bike rides with him. A couple of them in US. A few in India, our longest being Blr-Madurai-Kanyakumari and back.

Now we have a new bike, Ninja 650 R. It’s a little difficult for me to sit at the back for long rides, so we had to get a a luggage box, and get it fixed, so that it could act as my backrest. G really wanted all this so that he could take me for a long ride. All this wasn’t coming cheap. It did cost us quite a few thousands, to get that fixed. We also bought a new helmet for me. We came to office together for a week. We go around in the city.

But somehow, we have not been able to go out of Bangalore. He has gone on few solo trips. But we have not gone together… I am waiting for atleast a one day trip… Come on… Buying all that jazz, and No Paisa Vasool… Just not happening!!!.. Take me for that ride dude!!!