Friday, April 15, 2005

Dunno y i behaved like that

I had a hopeless morning. I had started chatting with my friend. Then he was insisiting that i should have breakfast daily [he is very concerned about my health]. We were just arguing about it.
After that i told him something which i got to know. I said that and he said he already knew. I dont know y but i felt very bad. I just felt that i am being stupid in telling every small and stupid thing to him. But its not the same the other way round. This is not what i want. I agree he is very sad there, but then i just felt that before telling me anything he first thinks whether its imp or not and then only tells me. If he feels it not imp then he doesnt tell me[he was like this from the beginning, i just hoped that he'll change and share his thoughts with me, but anyway....].
I think i'll also start doing the same.
Unless somthing has to do with both of us, i have decided not to tell him.

But somehow i felt really hurt. And then when he called i was really angry. And i dint speak. I dont repent for that coz i was really angry and would have blasted him really bad if we had continued speaking. Then he cut the phone and thats it.

I am really very hurt by whatever happened today. Whether it was coz of my behaviour or coz of him, i dunno. But i really feel so frustrated. Anyway i am ever frustrated these days by some reason or the other.

I want to go home, be with my mom, but there again i start feeling lonely. I pick up a fight with mom[as everybody says - i start the fight]. Sometimes i feel i should go out with my friends, but sometimes they r busy and may not be able to make it up.

Sometimes i feel i will be alone. As i was before. Have a number of friends, but still be all alone. Coz at that time i never used to share my secrets or my thoughts with them. I only used to have fun with them. All this start off when i start sharing my feelings with a person. I expect the same from the person. And thats just not possible.

I am going really maaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddddddddddddddd....................................


Baejaar said...

Hey cheer up. When things arent going our way, just take a break. Go out for a walk, listen to some music and hit the bed soon. Its surprising how most of our problems vanish when we get up after a night of sound sleep.

Art said...

:) thank u. sleep really helps us in this way. To get up and find out that there s a new beginning.

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