Tuesday, June 30, 2015

How punishments shape our life

In the recent years, I have friends who have kids, and sometimes I get to hear anecdotes from their life. Most of them are hilarious, smart and witty for a 4 year old, you must think. And then, I also get to hear on certain days

“I am feeling so guilty, I shouted at my kid”

“I am feeling so bad I scolded my kid”

“He/she has become so naughty. I actually threatened to hit him/her”

This makes me wonder, how would our parents have reacted, every time they scolded us or even better when they gave us those bruises.

Well, to be fair to my mom, I have disobeyed her so many times, lied to her, back answered etc, which has resulted in me getting punishments.

One day, when I was in 2nd standard, it was a daily activity of me going to a friend’s house which was in the next road. My deadline was to be back home at 6.30 pm. But that fateful day, we went to another friend’s house and we forgot about the time, and mom had come searching for me, along with the aunty (mom of my other friend). That day I was locked up in the Toilet, reason – I lied to her about going to Friend A’s house and not Friend B’s house, and also not adhearing to dealing. Well, after that I was really scared about skipping the deadline.

Ofcourse, later she made me sit on her lap and explained what my mistake was. Also, I lost the fear of being locked up alone in a room.

Another time, by this time I overestimated me to be super smart. I thought, “Everytime mom hits me I tell her, not to hit me and I am sorry. So if I tell to hit me, then she might get all senti, and stop hitting me.” Wonderful idea I patted myself.

So that day when I did something worthy of getting a beating, I did something which mom never imagined I would do. She hit me with her hand. I went to the room, got a belt from inside handed it over to her in a filmy style and said “You want to hit me, then take this and hit me. Atleast your hands wont hurt Ma”

Now what happened next was totally opposite to what I had imagined “My mom took the belt and hit me”. The reverse psychology theory did not apply here. And all I remember was never to use my smart brain when mom is angry. I never told her ever again “hit me”.

Much later, she checked if there were any wounds and I never even felt that I was beaten some time back. It made me stronger, everytime I would get hit by accident or even if I bumped into things. I could just brush it away and continue with my work.

Once, only because I lied, I had to wash vessels, including idli plates, milk vessels etc. May be that’s is why I love washing vessels now. The shine in those vessels brings a smile to my face. Any I digress. So, if you see, my punishments were not always getting hit, they were some essential things which we need to know.

I have not washed many clothes, may be that’s why I am not very fond of it, and let the washing machine handle all the stress.

Today, if I have sweep, or clean the floor with water and a mop, or wash vessels, or do dusting. Basically all these household chores, I have learnt it as a part of some punishment, and when I do any of these activities, I do it perfectly. So any time our maid is on holiday, and I do these chores at home, the floor is sparkling like a mirror and no dust, and the vessels are sparkling clean.

And I must admit,  inspite of all these punishments, I have been pampered a lot, loved a lot. A small sneeze or a cough will result in multiple calls from my parents, and even though it becomes annoying, it feels nice to know that you are being loved by them.

May be my mom, also felt guilty when she was punishing me. And everytime I get punished, I could see her in more pain. So I am sure, it was more of a punishment for her than me.

So for all the punishments, which have helped me shape up, I would really like to thank mom.

“Like every after every storm, the sky is clear
After every incident like this, I could see the love for me in my mom’s eyes more clearly.”

“Like how a goldsmith, shapes his gold
Every incident has shaped me into what I am today”

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